So what is it I want?

I could call myself an idealist. That would be a fair representation of my wants and needs should they be satisfied, idealism. Call it what you will, I really will never be satisfied with this modern world until, well there will never be an until moment, the moment when I get my way. It just ain't never gonna happen.

I want so many good things to be, that are not, that unless I resign myself to everyone else's fate, quiet resignation of the self inflicted woes that befall us, I am doomed to be miserable forever.

So what is it I want?

I want people(OK it is all going wrong straight away, I used the "P" word) to be nice to each other. Is that too much to ask? I think it is. I am by no means a perfect person, but I know my intentions are good. I don't have a problem with greed which is the number one cause of strife in the world, I really don't think I have. I am lucky in that respect, greed being the number one cause of personal and social dissatisfaction that is essentially containable, if people were to stop and think about it.

 Jealousy, greed's first cousin, is a powerful and destructive force. For some reason I don't suffer from it. I see situations where a person has either destroyed their own life through wanting what someone else has got, or destroyed a few others by taking what someone else has, because they just couldn't stop themselves. I don't suffer from that drive.

 I see it as a spectacle, something to recognise in others when you look at things such as the Gulf War, that was greed on an in-proportionate scale. Yet it is now frighteningly apparent what drove the "Good Guys" to sacrifice so many young lives, to divert money and resources from more worthy causes, such as famine and disease, or even resolving some of the military conflicts that beseech real people every day, all over the world. The unbridled want for someone else's oil was the priority.So excuses were made, lies were told and confidences broken, just for oil.

I hate greed, badly, it so brings out the worst in people. If it isn't global conflict it's stealing someone's hard earned pay or deceiving your partner because sex with one person doesn't satisfy you enough, again, lies are told and confidences broken.

Why can't the world be satisfied with enough, or perhaps due to their own genuine efforts, just a little bit more than enough, with everyone doing their utmost to make sure everyone else has the opportunity, whether they exercise it or not, to have enough of what they need and a little of what they want?

Then there's the earth. Why can't they leave it alone?

 In the endless search for money, countries and corporations decimate the earth and it's the only one we've got. I say countries, I mean the governments of countries, not the little people. Like little Hector and his family living in a cabin on the edge of the rain forest in Brazil. He doesn't drive that bulldozer through the ages old environment that actually would support him and his family without destroying it every day for twelve hours for fun. He drives it because were he not profiting from its destruction, then the large multi-national corporation that he works for would destroy it anyway, and then he would suffer terribly. His choices are limited severely by his need to survive.

So we have to endure the will of those in power that wantonly destroys the organic infrastructure that we are blessed to have been given stewardship of. Resources that whilst seemingly plentiful and apparently purposely conceived for our consumption, have taken millennia to evolve and will no doubt take as long to recover. Yet someone up there has decided we have at our disposal a bottomless pocket of wealth provision with which to indulge our greed, regardless of the cost.

Who are these people? The directors of conflict, the advocates of global abuse and squander? How are these people created when their origins are essentially the same as anyone else', we all start as babies. We go through the same growth stages, we are equally as fragile, physically. At what point did some one who would have woken up in the morning and partaken of breakfast just like the fortunate ones in the world should have, suddenly, in the course of their day without feeling sick to their stomach with anxiety over what they are about to do, gain the capacity to send thousands of young people out to kill or be killed by thousands of other people. Or decide that Hector's supportive environment has more value to someone else as material to build another addition to his villa in the country, than it is to Hector, and that with or without his consent, it will be taken from him?

Anyone who garners the amount of power and the ability to detach himself from the pain that he may be inflicting is a separate entity from anyone that I have ever known. I fail to see how they actually fit in to the model of human beings, citizens of society, man, woman, child, sibling or friend. All other people I have known or heard of or expect to exist with regard to my own experiences fit at least one of these roles. Where do they also find time to be dictators, warmongers or corporate executioners?

You can see how conspiracy theorists have come up with lizard people, cos something is amiss somewhere.